WHAT IS GOING ON. NO QUICK GUESSING PLEASE?
The wife is on laptop when I walk in she changes screens. I’ve talked to her explained it looks suspicious. She still does it. We both like to watch shows and work the net. Either to research the shows tech plot or stars or PBS filler. So I began doing the same with her covering my screen
Again we just discussed and finally she tells me she is checking out new homes. Or her horoscope which she thinks I may tease her for horoscope. I may have in past. She works and then comes home. She shops with her mom or our daughter. So no time to see someone other than work.
She also is cautious bout her phone calls and her cell phone. But she doesn’t seem to have the time to do anything and has sworn she isn’t messing around.
My concern also is that I’m injured not working but to do repairs on home to save money. Doing so is very very painful and slow. So I don’t spend asuch time as I want to with her. And one side of home under construction and repair so she is mad and pushed out of her bathroom bedroom. Not good. Rather than sleep around this mess she’s on couch. Trying to finish work today and clean up both rooms.
So if not messing round is she working me or trying to get me to behave and doing it so badly I think she is messing round?
Several times last year with me working 19-20 hour days she said no attention she would find someone. And that marriages weren’t meant to last. Since she was young when married she should have a fling to be even with my previous oat sewing. And I should understand. Last constant complaint of my weight gain. Due to wreck I put on so much. Morbidly Obeese. I’ve lost over 100lbs in past. My pain doc has me on meds now to help lose again to help offset effects of regular meds slowing me down so much. And today I’ve lost around 30lbs in two half months. Meds and one small meal a day. A few days 6 really didn’t eat at all did jump start diet but also got very sick and weak managed to hid it from her and family. I’ve hit 110 more to go. I can do it but slow so no extra skin on me I hope. Doing it first so I can benefit with less pain meds maybe get healthy again and please her and then me and then my kids.
Any ideas what she MAY be up to? Unless messing with some co worker or nearby guy I don’t see how she could cheat. Or maybe out shoping with her mom she stumbles on to someone since Mom has stroke and is bout a zombie?
my guess is you have too much spare time
No offense meant but you sound paranoid. You aren’t feeling very good about yourself because you’re out of work and overweight but that doesn’t mean she’s cheating. You provided some good rationalizations for her behavior.
I wouldn’t be thrilled that she said "marriages weren’t meant to last" but that doesn’t mean she’s cheating.
BTW, eating one meal a day isn’t healthy. It allows your body to go into starvation mode and your body tries be stingy burning calories. Eating more frequent, healthy meals would probably be better for your skin AND your mental health. Most of us don’t feel very good when we’re hungry.
Good luck.
My ex husband spent ALL is time on the computer..When I woiuld walk in he would change the screen REAL QUICK! So one night he left it on BY ACCIDENT and i found LOVE EMAILS back and forth between them. He BLAMED ME for being on the computer 24/7. Well guess what??? He is REMARRIED and 24/7 on the computer!!!!! I definitely think something is up. SORRY! But if most people go BY THEIR GUT INSTINCTS ITS USUALLY RIGHT!!!! Why is it people on here are putting the blame on you? Yeah your this and that BUT LOOK AT THE FACTS!!!!! REALLY
I am very sorry that you are experiencing so many challenges. When our health and job security go away all we have left is our families, it is wonderful that you are trying to understand your wife’s feelings. I can not say whether your wife is being unfaithful or not, I don’t know. But there are definitely signs that you and your wife are not as emotionally connected as you need to be. You mentioned that when you were working a lot your wife was desiring more of your attention. That is a very positive sign. Now that you are not working as much she may have more physical time with you, but I am sure what she is desiring is "emotional time" with you. Watching tv shows or surfing the net while even in the same room together does not compare with having real conversations with one another and connecting emotionally. I strongly feel that you can improve your marriage but it will take effort. There is a wonderful bible-based article entitled, "Your Marriage Can Be Saved!" Here is a quote:
"For example, a wife’s complaint that her husband does not spend time with her is likely not simply about hours and minutes. It may have more to do with her feeling neglected or unappreciated. Similarly, a husband’s grievance concerning an impulsive purchase that his wife made is probably not just about dollars and cents. It may be more about his feeling left out of the decision-making process. The husband or wife having insight will probe beneath the surface and get to the core of the problem.—Proverbs 16:23.
Is this easier said than done? Absolutely! Sometimes, despite the best of efforts, unkind words will be spoken and tempers will flare. When you see this start to happen, you may need to follow the advice of Proverbs 17:14: "Before the quarrel has burst forth, take your leave." There is nothing wrong with postponing the discussion until feelings have cooled down. If it is difficult to talk without things getting out of hand, it may be advisable to have a mature friend sit down with the two of you and help you to sort through your differences.%
Maintain a Realistic Outlook
Do not be discouraged if your marriage is not what you envisioned it would be during courtship. Says one team of experts: "Unending bliss is just not what marriage is like for most people. It’s wonderful at times and very hard at other times."
Yes, marriage may not be a storybook romance, but neither does it have to be a tragedy. While there will be times when you and your spouse will just have to put up with each other, there will also be occasions when you can put your differences aside and just enjoy being together, having fun, and talking to each other as friends. (Ephesians 4:2; Colossians 3:13) These are the times when you may be able to rekindle the love that has faded.
Remember, two imperfect humans cannot have a perfect marriage. But they can find a measure of happiness. Indeed, even with difficulties, the relationship between you and your spouse can be a wellspring of immense satisfaction. One thing is certain: If both you and your mate put forth effort and are willing to be flexible and seek the advantage of the other person, there is good reason to believe that your marriage can be saved.—1 Corinthians 10:24.
Wisdom From Bible Proverbs
Proverbs 10:19: "In the abundance of words there does not fail to be transgression, but the one keeping his lips in check is acting discreetly."
When you are upset, you may say more than you mean to—and later regret it.
Proverbs 15:18: "An enraged man stirs up contention, but one that is slow to anger quiets down quarreling."
Stinging accusations will likely make your spouse defensive, whereas patient listening will help both of you work toward a resolution.
Proverbs 17:27: "Anyone holding back his sayings is possessed of knowledge, and a man of discernment is cool of spirit."
When you sense that anger is building, it is best to keep quiet so as to avoid a full-blown confrontation.
Proverbs 29:11: "All his spirit is what a stupid one lets out, but he that is wise keeps it calm to the last."
Self-control is vital. A temperamental outburst of harsh words will only alienate your spouse."
There are many more articles that can help your and your wife get back that loving feeling. Log onto http://www.watchtower.org and type in "marriage" in the Search box on the top right hand corner of the homepage. There is also a book entitled, "The Secret of Family Happiness" that you can order free of charge on the website.
I hope this helps you.